The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people. Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.

Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it.... I think that the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.

There are many things you can point to as proof that the human is not smart. But my personal favorite would have to be that we needed to invent the helmet. What was happening, apparently, was that we were involved in a lot of activities that were cracking our heads. We chose not to avoid doing those activities but, instead, to come up with some sort of device to help us enjoy our head-cracking lifestyles.