Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn't really bother me.

You can be passionate about anything.

You know, crankiness is at the essence of all comedy.

Pay attention; don't let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

I only do a show when there's somebody I want to talk to.