If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Introducing 'Lite': the new way to spell 'Light'; but with twenty per cent fewer letters.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

I like definitive things.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'

And that's when I realized, when you're a kid you don't need a costume, you ARE superman.

People don't think of their office as a workplace anymore. They think of it as a stationary store with Danish. You want to get your pastry, your envelopes, your supplies, your toilet paper, six cups of coffee, and you go home.