I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings

I am freaking out! I am freaking out, man!

Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I love advertising because I love lying.

What is this obsession people have with books? They put them in their houses like they're trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?

I don't want to hear the specials. If they're so special, put 'em on the menu.