I'm in the unfortunate position of having to consider other people's feelings

The Olympics is my favourite sporting event. Although I have a problem with that silver medal. When you think about it, you win the gold - you feel good, you win the bronze - you think, 'Well at least I got something'. But when you win silver, it's like, 'Congratulations, you 'almost' won. Of all the losers, you came in first of that group. You're the number one 'loser.' No one lost ahead of you.

I wish I was a phone machine. I wish if I saw somebody on the street I didn't want to talk to I could just go, "Excuse me, I'm not here right now, If you just leave a message, I can walk away."

I like to try anything... You have to do the experiments to find out what the formulas are.

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Well, sometimes we do actually have to get up early, but a man will always trade sleep for sex.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.