You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.

Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.

Nothing in life is fun for the whole family. There are no massage parlors with ice cream and free jewelry.

Work is the least important thing and family is the most important.

They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind of Houdini torture tank of doom. How do you breathe in there? It looks like if you put your hand over the change slot, you could suffocate him in thirty seconds.

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night?