Normal people have sex lives of their own to worry about.

There's no point in living in an alternate reality.

I don't want the IRS banging down my door.

I always feel like I'm missing out on something, that someone is having more fun than I am, so I take measures to make sure that is impossible.

I always regarded people who want fame with a lot of suspicion. Unless you have a product to sell, I don't know why anyone would want to be famous. I can't imagine what need that would fill.

If you're still in a bar when the lights go on, you are a loser.

Everyone should have a blog. It's the most democratic thing ever.