There is never a need to outrun anything you can outwit.

Life is like a Ferrari, it goes too fast. But that's ok, because you can't afford it anyway.

If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen

I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn't worn off - I still feel like I'm making up for lost time.

Cats are anthropomorphised in art because they are so laid back that you automatically attribute human thoughts and feelings to them.

When you're through with your cat, you can't throw it in the trash.

My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.