When in doubt, pig out!

He who fills His pockets with the Rocks of Misdeeds shall surely sink in the River of Good Fortune.

I was in and out of comas until I was nine and I would lose entire days and weeks. The novelty of being able to really do stuff hasn't worn off - I still feel like I'm making up for lost time.

When you're through with your cat, you can't throw it in the trash.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay, the more wrinkled you get.

I never met a lasagna I didn't like

I thought you were dead, Mr. McCandles.