I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jรคger? You want eight of 'em?"
Jim GaffiganI don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.
Jim GaffiganWeโre never satisfied when it comes to food. โYou know whatโd be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, letโs use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!โ
Jim GaffiganI am somebody who - my path to my faith is very kind of individual, and I don't want to be lumped into the category of those Westboro Baptists.
Jim Gaffigan