We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’

My children have made me a better man, which is - in the end, that's probably more important than two more comedy specials or being in better shape.

No matter how you feel about your extended family or family gatherings you will be attending. This is because now the ultimate reason for attending family gatherings is for your children to have the time of their lives with their cousins. Little kids love their cousins. I’m not being cute or exaggerating here. Cousins are like celebrities for little kids. If little kids had a People magazine, cousins would be on the cover. Cousins are the barometers of how fun a family get-together will be. “Are the cousins going to be there? Fun!

The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

I recently bought extreme chunky peanut butter. I opened it up.. .it was just peanuts. Wow that is extreme!

It really never came up, but I think that in present-day America, they're - you know, and I touched on it in the initial clip - is that we are in the middle of this culture war.