I guess the reasons against having more children always seem uninspiring and superficial. What exactly am I missing out on? Money? A few more hours of sleep? A more peaceful meal? More hair? These are nothing compared to what I get from these five monsters who rule my life.

Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.

I don't want to get involved in the culture war. Religion's iffy.

Now don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eatin' 'em more... fun to pet, better to chew.

I worked on USA Today as a topic for while. I tried to do something on hand chairs, chairs that look like hands. I really tried. But some topics are not truly universal.

I realize I look very hip hop but I'm really more emo with a definite Brazilian flavor.

Now that I'm married and have two beautiful children, it really makes me appreciate... being alone.