My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.

Ever eat so much you feel sick? Isn't that the best?

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause.