Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

Every morning I hear the alarm, it's like "BEEP BEEP BEEP" For second I'm like, "I could get used to that, just dream I'm in a techno club, or something."

I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.

Award shows are really silly. I'm very happy for the people that win the awards, and I can say they're really silly, but I would love to get one. So I also know wasting time on that is pointless.

It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?