Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

Deep frying a Twinkie makes it healthy, right?

“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

Babies, they learn how to walk and they are already trying to run away. You can't reach the doorknob, you only know us, think it through.

I don't curse on stage, but I feel like I curse more because I have kids and in front of my kids. Not intentionally.

There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

Lifetime is television for women. Yet for some reason, there's always a woman getting beaten on that channel. "In a Lifetime original, Meredith Baxter-Berney gets beaten with a rod. In a Lifetime original, Rod."