Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?

You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie.

Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.

Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"

But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.