Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.
Jim GaffiganOther people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
Jim GaffiganHow'd we come up with the robe? Was some guy just like, 'Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't we make a coat out of a towel? You can have a little belt that goes around. You could dunk the belt in the toilet! Have a toilet belt.'
Jim GaffiganYou ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
Jim Gaffigan