If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always treats you like you're taking from his personal stash. "Looks like my kids aren't having ketchup tonight."

If someone picks up one thing you've written, you want them to go, 'Wow, this is pretty good.'

Stand-up is so rewarding, and I enjoy the acting opportunities I've had, but the only time I really feel bad is when I feel like I have this manufactured belief that I should be doing something else or there should be some type of recognition. On an intellectual level, I know it's stupid.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.