There has been this belief among the Catholic community - and this - I'm no expert, this is my opinion - that cafeteria Catholics are wrong.

What kind of life are you leading where you consider ketchup fancy? "Well, we ain't rich folk, but on special occasions, I'll break out the ketchup. Grandma's birthday, make her feel special"

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about this.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.