The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.

What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'

“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

I spent most of my adult life essentially agnostic or an atheist.

Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA!

I think when my mother died, it was such a - you know, a shock to the logic that I had been raised with.

Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, "Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it"