One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

Don't you think it's strange how many referees work at Footlocker?

The real question is should we trust people who don't like cheese?

My childhood best friend is an anesthesiologist. It's the least amount of human interaction for a doctor. I don't think you can get that burned out on it.

Some of my fear and anxieties surrounding faith, I think, provides some good comedy for my act.

I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that one the female?

You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."