Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.

I really don't care about birthdays. It's something where even as a kid, I never really felt comfortable when someone would sing to me.

If camping is so great, why are the bugs always trying to get in your house?

Who was the first person to walk into a harbor and say, "Whatever that horrible smell is I want to eat it"

I was able to make the jump to theaters without having a TV show. My passion for getting a TV show just plummeted. It was like I had already achieved what I wanted to achieve.

It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"

It's so obvious The Weather Channel is pro hurricane. Fair and balanced my ass.