Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.

I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.

I live in New York City, but it doesn't matter if you're in any large, metropolitan area, there's kind of a little bit of survival-of-the-fittest, so when you encounter kindness or people going out of their way in an empathetic way, it's almost startling.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

I love how New York is so multicultural. I wish I was ethnic, I'm nothing. Because if you're Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, 'He's got a Latin temper!' If you're a white guy and you get angry, people are like, 'That guy's a jerk.'

You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."