Bacon bits are like the fairy dust of the food community.

There are people that are vegetarians that love bacon.

Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.

I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

You're on stage and because stand-up comedy is one of the few meritocracies in the entertainment industry, there's some kind of - at least for me, there's some kind of idea of control.

It is amazing how much more amazing sleep is in the morning. You wake up and you're like, "I stayed up to do what?! Watch Growing Pains? What was I thinking!?" But at night you're like, "La La La La La, Hey! Growing Pains, awesome! And I've seen this episode. That Kirk Cameron's always in trouble."