That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.

My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.

And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with AIDS, hepatitis C and liquified genital warts. And while they're all running out and crying, I hope one of them slips and accidentally molests a child.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

You look like a diabetic strip club owner.

I don't have kids. That's why I leave it in the dumper or in the mouth, because I hate kids.

People are too worried a lot of times what other people in the audience are going to think about them, so they like to feign offense so other people don't think that they're inappropriate for laughing at something.