Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.

I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.