Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

There's a trench coat and a tragedy in your future.

My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.

Apologies; our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.

I'm embarrassed for us as a free society that we actually want people punished for saying things we don't like.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.