I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

I had AIDS, but I beat it with Advil.

Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly.

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire.

People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.