What's the name of the birth defect you have, trampled by a horse during the 2nd trimester?

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.

From now on, anyone raped at Penn State should just tell Joe Paterno's statue. It couldn't help you any less than the real Joe would have.

People are dumb and they think that laughing equals cosigning a belief in the ideology, which it doesn't.

God, do I hate my little fat tits. You ever pinch your little meat tits and wish you were dead? You ever just stand naked in the mirror. "You little fat-titted mediocre failure!" You ever do that for 3 hours on New Year's Eve.