They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.

My whole existence is spent just trying to not shove bad food in my fat face. It's like a constant struggle. I'll do really good for a while, and then I do bad, then I do really good.

The only time the press doesn’t sensationalize information is when one of their own is kidnapped. Interesting how they show restraint then.

People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.

I wish I had AIDS so I could bite somebody.

My job is to express who I am and what I hate about the country and what I love about it and what I hate about myself and what I love about myself and to make you laugh while I'm doing it.

They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.