They don't tend to feature the kind of vaginas I like in adult films. I tend to like a thick, heavy pussy - the kind of pussy that looks like it just smoked an exploding cartoon cigar.

I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

You look like a diabetic strip club owner.

You really are a badass, edgy guy who tells it like it is...about couscous.

Why is comedy the only form of the arts where people think they have to agree with or approve the content? You don't walk through a museum with a towel and throw it over paintings you don't like.

Mario you are a great chef but you look like a homeless James Gandolfini.