You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great. After three years she wants to run out and find a guy that doesn't hit her.

Apologies; our cultural obsession with them isn't about actually being offended, or simply needing to hear, “I'm sorry.” It's not really about right or wrong. It's about wanting to throw a rock in the dark and hear something break.

You look like a diabetic strip club owner.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

People don't mind positive stereotypes. People don't mind positive assumptions. It's only negative assumptions about them. So their outrage is so arbitrary.

I hope you have a miscarriage on a Walmart floor and have the baby's room already decorated.