You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.

I should call myself four market Norton. I'm great in Boston and Cleveland. I do good in Phillie, New Jersey.

I couldn't get laid with a sitcom and a rifle.

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades.

I don't wear rubbers cause you can't catch it twice.

While There may be power in forgiveness, there is even more power in lobbing a Molotov cocktail through someone's dining room window.

I hope you slip in a puddle of AIDS and crack your head open