I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

Say what you want about the deaf.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.

I don't see myself as offending people.

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.