Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.