I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
Jimmy CarrRecently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Jimmy CarrIn Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.
Jimmy CarrAs soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.
Jimmy Carr