Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

Viagra has instructions: 'Keep away from children' - what kind of man do you think I am?

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you either love us or you simply cannot see why people are laughing.

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.