As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

You go, well you can't joke about race. Well if you're from a different race and that's your experience of the world and you want to talk about that, then fine. Or you can't talk about disability, but disabled comics can talk about that.

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front 'rough guide'. I thought: 'Yeah' she's not a looker.

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.