As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing.

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

All comedians are a bit attention-seeking and I'm no different. Anyone with the audacity to want to be listened to for an hour and a half must be.

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

I may be middle class, but I'm hard. 'Al dente', you could say.