In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.

I pay what I have to and not a penny more.

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

Saying that you don't believe in magic but do believe in god is a bit like saying you don't have sex with dogs, except labradors.

The 2012 Olympics is going to cost £8 billion which is a lot of money. It'll probably bankrupt London. But you can't put a price on two bronze medals in cycling.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident.