I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it

When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can **** off!

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Remember to never answer a phone during sex, even if you hilariously answer with 'I can't talk now, I'm going into a tunnel'.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.