Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.

When someone close to you dies, move seats.

See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Rohypnol

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.