I used to buy lottery tickets every week until I realised you could watch it on TV for nothing.
Jimmy CarrI'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.
Jimmy CarrI don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
Jimmy CarrSwimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.
Jimmy Carr