I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

How many airports are there in the world?

Put Smarties tubes on cats legs, make them walk like a robot.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, my perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee.