I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that's partly down to confidence.

I, of course, don't have an accent. This is just how things sound when they are pronounced properly.

The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.