My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.
Jimmy CarrThe tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.
Jimmy CarrI've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.
Jimmy Carr