I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

I think they got it wrong with Saddam Hussein. They thought he had the A-Bomb. Instead he had a bomb.

I was a Christian. I didn't want to have sex before marriage, I was a bit uptight and not very self-confident. I was a virgin until I was 26.

It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend to laugh much more in a group.

Swimming is good for you, especially if you're drowning. Not only do you get a cardiovascular workout but also you don't die.

My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty."