I live near a remedial school. There is a sign that says, slow... children. That can't be good for their self esteem. But look of course on the positive side, they can't read it.

When someone close to you dies, move seats.

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.

I do realise that when I laugh, it sounds like a seal is being molested.

My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

I think the idea that death is not the end, that your dog's just gone to live on the farm, is limiting. Thoughts like that prevent you from making the most of the time that you have.