I'm obsessed with TV. How wrong our parents were when they said we should only watch an hour a day. Stop wasting your time reading books.

I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Say what you want about the deaf.

You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.