I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe."