Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.

I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays