The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you're acting; listen only to yourself.

I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.