Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.