I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'
She's so fat, she's my two best friends.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.