Every television show you go on is a choice.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.

On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.

I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.