The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!

If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.

The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.

You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.