The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

When you're first-generation money, you want to say, "I got a Mercedes and a Rolls and a Lamborghini. Take a look." When you're second-generation money, you're very quiet behind your country club doors. I think that's why people are much more aware. It's the first-generation wives that have the huge rings and the second-generation says, "Everyone be quiet as we get on our yacht or our private plane."

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."

That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.

Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.