A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

My body is dropping so fast, my gynecologist wears a hard hat.

keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway."

I think I've lost 3lbs - I'm very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa.