A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.

Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.