You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.

When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.