I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.

Marriage isn't a contest to see who is most often right. Marriage requires being what the Japanese call 'the wise bamboo,' which means you bend so you don't break. Treat your spouse with the flexibility and respect you would give to a top client. Think how we treat clients; We smile, we are polite, we listen to their ideas. Never forget that your spouse is your most important client.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."