I've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper.

you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.

I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you're acting; listen only to yourself.