One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.

In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."

Self-pity shortens your life.