Self-pity shortens your life.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do