And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

Tonight I'll be interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro and Djimon Honsou - and yes, those are actors, not caterers.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

If you're not a wreck in this business, you're not around.

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.

I was just reading about the new Lindsay Lohan diet, which is all liquid. 80 proof.

If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.