And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.

to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

I hate reality shows that are not reality.

You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.