And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

Tonight I'll be interviewing Ken Watanabe, Keisha Castle Hughes, Benecio Del Toro and Djimon Honsou - and yes, those are actors, not caterers.

Better laid than never.

My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh.