I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.

I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.

I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.